You Don't Have to be Stoned, but It Helps

Alright close your eyes and come with me on a journey for a second... although I guess you can keep them open to keep reading (but only to keep reading).

It's eight o' clock Sunday night. All day you have been thinking about how much work you have to do, but you keep getting high and forgetting to do it. You finally sit down at your desk to start working when your friend walks in with a little bag of green and the bong in his hands. You half-heartedly try to convince him you're doing work, but he knows you better,  sits on your couch and starts firing up. You humbly take the seat next to him, hit it, and exhale a big sigh of relief.... ah, no more homework. The two of you sit on the couch in one of those "its-not-awkward-cause-we're-high" moments, and eventually decide you want to watch a "stoner" movie. What do you watch? (You can open your eyes now...)

Now this is a real toughie, folks. We've got Cheech and Chong, How High, Half Baked, Grandma's Boy... arguably even Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and with such an array of viewing options, stoner movies truly have a lot to offer. In the end though, it depends on your mood, so being the good guy that I am, I've given reviews for my top five.

1. How High - Really isn't much doubt in my mind about this one. Method Man and Redman do their thing: crack jokes, steal douchebag crew captain's girlfriend, film their own voyeur porno, and smoke a lot of trees. This movie in particular is one you simply must be high for, and if you don't smoke... why are you on this blog?

 

2. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle - I may be a product of my generation, but something about two stoners whose only goal is fast food just really hits home. I don't know how these guys could have done it without weed, and what gets me every time is that this movie is truly a testament to the munchies. And if it couldn't get any better, Doogie Howser even shows up, steals a car, and motor boats some (what appear to be) hookers.

3. Cheech & Chong's Up in Smoke - Now this one caused me a bit of an inner struggle, because while I personally care very little for the Cheech & Chong films (as I said, I'm a product of my generation), I feel obligated to acknowledge Up in Smoke in particular for revolutionizing  the stoner-comedy genre. Made in the late 70s... ah fuck, what do I know, I've never even seen the whole thing... at least I haven't been sober enough to remember it.

4. Super High Me - If you're looking for something with a little more educational value (again, why are you on my blog?), Super High Me takes you through the day in the life of a stoner... just in case you weren't already living one. After this movie it's official: smoke weed all day, every day, and you'll still do better on the SATs, have ESP, and more sperm than that sober motherfucker sitting next to you.

5. ... I'm not gonna lie, I got bored of this one. I'm gonna go hit the bong; just pick one of those four, smoke a blunt, and you're gonna like the way you feel. I guarantee it. (I may not be the men's warehouse, but hey, we all know you're not perfect.)