Baking, For Potheads

This is the first piece in a segment I'm calling, "... For Potheads." Now it's not like I'm trying to call potheads dumb or anything, me being one of them, but instead I offer sure-fire, stoner-proof methods (if there is such a thing) for a variety of topics. I begin with my very own brownie recipe... well, at least it's Nestle's recipe plus weed.

Start with your favorite box of brownie mix and assemble all the necessary ingredients (if you're making them from scratch, I doubt you smoke enough), including at least a half ounce of shake or trim. I can't tell you how many of my friends' brownies I've eaten, where they try to use less than half as much of the dankness... it doesn't work. We're going for quantity over quality here, so find as much of the cheapest, shittiest dro you can find, throw it in a coffee grinder (the more ground up, the better), and start melting your butter.

Using a crockpot (a smaller bowl floating inside a pot filled with boiling water will also work), melt at least as much butter as the recipe requires - remember, the more the merrier... for the most part. Anyway, once your butter's all nice and melty, it's time to add the special ingredient.  Here it becomes a game of patience, because the longer you leave the weed in the butter, the more THC it will absorb, and the better your brownies will be. I'm always so high and bored that I've never made it past hour three, but you can leave the mixture in the crockpot for up to 24 hours. The pot should prevent the butter from burning, but make sure the temperature isn't above 220 degrees, keep an eye on it, mix often, and you'll have delicious cannabutter in a matter of hours.

Once you've exhausted your patience, strain the remaining leaves, stems, seeds, or any other particles out of the butter; using a spice press will allow you to get every last drop out of the mixture, but a coffee grinder will work as well. I usually just throw the remaining leaf away, but it can be used for other recipes; shit sell it to some noobies as far as I care.

Once the butter has been strained from the excess leaf, it doesn't really matter if you put the butter in the brownies or shove it up your ass, but if you've done everything right, it will wreck you. So go ahead, bake some brownies, make a grilled cheese, spread it on toast... whatever suits your fancy. Then, finally, let me know what you think.