The Art of Spliff

A couple years ago most of my friends in San Fran gradually started smoking more and more spliffs. A spliff is a joint rolled with tobacco and marijuana, and is great for those who smoke both, since they are readily available. Initially, I wasn't a fan. I preferred to roll my own joints rather than throw down with my friends on a spliff, because I don't (and never plan to) smoke cigarettes. My move to the east coast, however, has changed my mindset considerably.  I am now convinced that spliffs are actually quite nice, but there is an art:

• Never more than 50% tobacco. Even that is extremely high in my consideration, and I prefer around 20-30% - if you're stash is running low that's one thing, but try to keep it green.
• Make sure the tobacco is spread evenly throughout. The tobacco makes it burn more slowly and more evenly, so if there is significantly more tobacco in a particular spot, the paper there will burn unevenly.
• Use Crutches (filters). Don't worry, you don't have to break anything. Take a business card out of your wallet, tear off a corner, roll it up, and voila: filter. Make sure you put it in the paper before rolling - see video.
• King Size Papers! Sure, a regular 1 1/4 Zig Zag does the job, but it does the spliff little justice. There is much more potential (longer crutch, more room for error) in a paper that's twice as big.
• Lastly, learn to roll: Bongosphere approved spliff rolling video - I roll this way myself

(sure hope that isn't weed though - gross)

Maybe you smoke cigarettes, maybe you don't quite have enough bud for a full joint, or maybe you just like a head rush now and then, but either way, remember the spliff.

Teaching a New Blog Old Tricks

That's right - smoking tricks. Marijuana and tobacco users don't always see eye to eye, but ever since humans realized they could inhale certain things and get fucked up (I'm assuming), they've been trying to do cool things with the smoke after it does its job. 

We'll start relatively easy, with the first trick I learned, the French Inhale (or Irish Waterfall). It's really as simple as opening your mouth and breathing through your nose after a nice rip. You canuse the tip of your tongue to arch the smoke towards your nostrils - or even towards one in particular. You also might have to inhale a little harder than you normally would, but a minute or two in front of the mirror should have you inhaling like the French in no time.

I actually performed this next trick before I even knew what it was, and it's actually a pretty difficult one to get consistently - The Snap Inhale. Now I had no idea what this was called before I looked it up, but it's a pretty fun trick once you get the hang of it. Take a nice big hit (pick your poison), and before inhaling - the smoke must be in your mouth! - slowly open your mouth in an "O" shape and gently let a puff of air out by moving your tongue or jaw. Quickly inhale through your mouth, sucking all of the smoke back into your lungs.

The last, and most impressive trick I'm going to discuss is, of course, the Smoke Ring. To be honest, I just got this trick down a couple weeks ago, and I'm still practicing. If you've ever asked anyone how to do it, I'm sure you got an answer something along the lines of "make an 'O' with your mouth and just like, blow, or something," but I never really realized what that O shape was... it's not like whistling. The image to the left gives a pretty good picture of the shape of your  mouth, and the other trick is that you don't exactly blow the smoke out. The movement is similar to the Snap Inhale, in that it just requires a subtle moving of your mouth to push out a cloud of smoke - in this case, in the shape of a ring. 

These three tricks are really the foundation of all smoking tricks, and if you can get them down, you have the components to really do all sorts of creative things with your smoke. So go ahead: be a dragon, make a heart, or just exhale....

Wake 'N' Bake

Back home, being that I don't do anything all day and weed prices are less than half of what they are here, every morning is a wake and bake. At school, however, I cannot afford that luxury for a variety of reasons, which made this morning all the more special. Not only did I get woken up at 11 (mind you, that's early) to go get bluntwraps and start rolling, but everyone else in my house did too. That's right, even the kids who barely smoke. It was glorious.

We had eight couches in a half-circle around the TV in what had to be the largest smoking-circle in recent history. 12 blunts later, the Dominoes man walked into what he must have thought was some kind of hippy-college-pot party with about as many pizzas as there were people.

Whatever. After eating enough for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I decided the only thing left to do was go back to bed. I woke up about twenty minutes ago, and I'm ready for breakfast # 2.

Featured Strain of the Week: Super Silver Haze

Celebrating the one week anniversary of The Bongosphere, I am introducing a weekly, purely weed-devoted post about my personal favorites. In my first post I featured God's Gift, my personal favorite, and this week I'm following up with a close second. Super Silver Haze... because Silver Haze just wasn't super enough.

Super Silver Haze Trichome

And this is why they call it silver; I think this plant is more crystal than chlorophyll. These plants vary somewhat in their genetics, but Super Silver combines Skunk, Northern lights, and Haze to produce an incredible combination of body-numbing indica and head-rocking sativa. I just can't help but stare at this picture to the right - it should have been on my last post about marijuana art, because that is a beautiful beautiful thing. 

Three time cannabis cup winner, this bud will be worth however much you have to pay for it (which is going to be a lot). I've only smoked it one time I'm aware of, but this strain stands out above and beyond even the high grades like Trainwreck and Sour Diesel. Who needs Superman? Give me some Super Silver Haze.

Who Says Marijuana Isn't a Beautiful Thing?

I've been bored today if you couldn't tell. Here are some images I've gathered of some nice marijuana art.

James Moore - U.S. Drug War Prisoner, Texas

Look at this tattoo! Not only a fine piece of art,
But quite the commitment

All I can do is laugh at this one

Robert Barbour

Step Into the Bongosphere

...And I thought I was original.

From the Urban Dictionary:

Bongosphere 

1. The state or place where the things that make sense to you when you are high are true.

Doc finally understood the Grand Unifying Theory of Creation; but he forgot to document it before he sobered up and stepped out of the bongosphere.

I had never heard of the bongosphere before I thought of it, and I gave myself a big pat on the back when I did too. Imagine my dismay when I try to Google myself and this shit pops up....

Oh well, in a sense it actually endorses what I'm doing. Maybe this site can become a true bongosphere: where the world will come to bathe in the glory of our highdeas, and maybe someone will actually remember them.

Or maybe not. Wait what was I talking about?

Cleaning Your Glass, For Potheads

A stoner's worst nightmare. I let my bong back home get so bad I was considering buying a new one rather than trying to clean it. Don't let this happen to you! A little preventative maintenance goes a long way.

I decided I would try to clean mine a few weeks ago; a New Years resolution of a sort, but by that point it was so grimy all the rubbing alcohol and Formula 420 in the world wouldn't have cleaned it without way more effort than I was willing to put in. As for this Formula 420 bullshit, as far as I can tell it's just rubbing alcohol, salt, and food coloring in a $15 bottle, so I would have to recommend against it for your wallet's sake. You can get isoprobyl (rubbing) alcohol for about three bucks, and if you don't have any salt, i'm sure you can steal some from  your local McDonald's.

It's just that easy. Add salt, add rubbing alcohol, maybe some hot water, and shake. No reason to ever not clean your glass piece again... because everyone knows nothing hits like a nice clean bong.

CAUTION: Watch out for your bowl and slide!We've broken like four this month trying to clean them.

Stoned Cold

Or should I just say cold and stoned?

I've decided there's nothing worse than trying to smoke outside when it's -12 degrees. I'm fortunate enough to live in a frat house where I can smoke indoors and food gets delivered, 'cause I get cold with the fucking window open. 

Back home i love smoking outside. SF has (in my opinion) some of the best places to smoke in the country... or at least anywhere I've been.... Anyway, I don't really understand how people can live out here on the east coast their entire lives, and seem to not realize you can live somewhere you don't have to freeze your nips off. Hopefully  I can get out of here with my degree (and my nipples intact) and say goodbye to the cold for awhile, but until then I guess I'm going to have to toughen up.

Or buy a smoking snuggie.

Oh Snap

The only somewhat relevant definition of a snap on Urban Dictionary is "a small amount of weed to be smoked from a bong or peice, usualy only enough for a good-sized hit." If I was the kind of person who updated this shit, I would add my own definition that would go something like this: "a bowl cleared by one person; varies in size depending on how high they want to get/how tough their lungs are." Check this guy out.

You see him spit on his floor after he took that? He's so high he doesn't give a fuck. Now I've seen YouTube videos of people who can do shit like this without dying, but I figured this one is a little more appropriate since it's closer to what would actually happen if any normal person tried to do it.

I have to admit this is one thing I just cannot advocate. Recording yourself smoke 2 grams of weed is only cool if a) you can actually do it or b) you're with a bunch of people who are all laughing at you fail. This guy just seems pathetic. Don't get me wrong, I like a good snap just as much as the next guy, but even I think 2.2 grams of any  kind of smoke in your lungs is a little excessive, and probably not very healthy.

So gather some friends around, pack the biggest bowl you can, and start practicing.

The Difference Between a "Head Shop" and a "Smoke Shop"

As you may know by now, I'm originally from San Francisco and currently living in Pennsylvania, and I must admit my confusion when I came out here and people started talking about going to a head shop. What the hell is a head shop? I know we've got smoke shops - they sell cigarettes, hookahs, shisha, bongs, bubblers, grinders and the like, but certainly no heads. I had never heard the term before. Anyway believe it or not I did a little research, and it turns out head shops got their name because I guess they cater to customers who like to alter their state of mind, or head.

It was not until I stepped inside one of these stores that I realized there were some other differences too. This shit was fucking expensive; a $200 bong at that store would've costed me maybe $120 back home. But you know they never have the prices on these things, or they're in some other language or some shit, so I had to ask what the prices were... that's when I made my first mistake.

"Excuse me, how much is this bong right here?" Any of you who live in one of these ridiculous marijuana-law states know what comes next, but I sure didn't. She kicked me out of the fucking store. I wasn't going to buy the ridiculously overpriced bong anyway, but seriously? I can't say bong? Fucking head shops....

This is a smoke shop

And this is a head shop 

See that's just bullshit. They know, I know, and everyone seeing me walk into one of these stores knows exactly what I'm going to do with these "items" when I get home, and it damn sure isn't to smoke tobacco. Whatever. I  knew the girl was just trying to do her job so I tried not to give her too hard a time on my way out, but I damn sure haven't been back. How dare someone tell me what I can or cannot say? Isn't this America?

And I Thought Hallucinating Was Illegal

That's right... turns out it isn't.

I'm sure most of you are familiar with what is scientifically known as salvia divinorum, or just Salvia for short. Now I tend to live by the mottoes "All things in moderation," and "You gotta try (almost) everything once," but salvia had always kind of scared me. In high school some of my, how do you say, "druggier" friends had tried everything, and said salvia was one of the most intense hallucinogens they had done.

I know I don't have to say it but I'm going to anyway... marijuana doesn't make you do that. Never. I guarantee that if you try to prove me wrong and smoke until you can't smoke anymore, you will wake up bloated, covered in crumbs, and angry that you smoked all your weed. That's it.

Alright so I decided I wouldn't let this barely legal plant get the best of me any longer, and my buddy and me drove down to the head shop, picked up some 40x, and made it back to the house (after only briefly getting lost). I'm not gonna lie and say I tripped like the guy in this video, but I was definitely much more than high. 

I don't mean to sound like I want to make salvia illegal - quite the opposite, in fact - but it pisses me off that both salvia divinorum and cannabis are plants classified as hallucinogens, and the federal government sees one as an Un-Scheduled drug, and the other as Schedule 1 (take a look at some of the other names in that caregory).

If this scheduling is supposed to be based on the strength and lethality of drugs, it's obvious that no one in the government has tried either.

Baking, For Potheads

This is the first piece in a segment I'm calling, "... For Potheads." Now it's not like I'm trying to call potheads dumb or anything, me being one of them, but instead I offer sure-fire, stoner-proof methods (if there is such a thing) for a variety of topics. I begin with my very own brownie recipe... well, at least it's Nestle's recipe plus weed.

Start with your favorite box of brownie mix and assemble all the necessary ingredients (if you're making them from scratch, I doubt you smoke enough), including at least a half ounce of shake or trim. I can't tell you how many of my friends' brownies I've eaten, where they try to use less than half as much of the dankness... it doesn't work. We're going for quantity over quality here, so find as much of the cheapest, shittiest dro you can find, throw it in a coffee grinder (the more ground up, the better), and start melting your butter.

Using a crockpot (a smaller bowl floating inside a pot filled with boiling water will also work), melt at least as much butter as the recipe requires - remember, the more the merrier... for the most part. Anyway, once your butter's all nice and melty, it's time to add the special ingredient.  Here it becomes a game of patience, because the longer you leave the weed in the butter, the more THC it will absorb, and the better your brownies will be. I'm always so high and bored that I've never made it past hour three, but you can leave the mixture in the crockpot for up to 24 hours. The pot should prevent the butter from burning, but make sure the temperature isn't above 220 degrees, keep an eye on it, mix often, and you'll have delicious cannabutter in a matter of hours.

Once you've exhausted your patience, strain the remaining leaves, stems, seeds, or any other particles out of the butter; using a spice press will allow you to get every last drop out of the mixture, but a coffee grinder will work as well. I usually just throw the remaining leaf away, but it can be used for other recipes; shit sell it to some noobies as far as I care.

Once the butter has been strained from the excess leaf, it doesn't really matter if you put the butter in the brownies or shove it up your ass, but if you've done everything right, it will wreck you. So go ahead, bake some brownies, make a grilled cheese, spread it on toast... whatever suits your fancy. Then, finally, let me know what you think.

Power Play

To reveal a little bit more about myself: I'm in a fraternity. Now before all you assholes start judging me... well, too late, but last night about five of us were in a room playing NHL Arcade. Now I'm not sure if any of you are familiar with this version, but it's basically three big-headed hockey players on speed sliding around, getting power-ups, and trying to beat the shit out of the other team. Think NFL Blitz on ice.

We were up til six this morning playing it, and as fun as the game may be, I think it was the addition of some of our own rules that really helped us enjoy it. First team to score 5 goals wins... so the game takes about 5 minutes, and before every game we pack the bong. Now it gets tricky...

We're playing two on two, which means one person on a team is constantly smoking; think of it as a mix between musical chairs and Australian doubles. To be honest I'm not sure if this game is in the bong's best interest, but you gotta do what you gotta do right? We called it "Power Play." Fortunately unlike real hockey, the penalty box is the best part.

A Stoner's Guide to Proposition 19

Alright I might be a little late on this one but the war on drugs is too stupid for me to let it go. Proposition 19 would have effectively legalized marijuana for adults 21 and up. That's right - no card, no prescription, no arrests for possession or sale of marijuana, and billions of dollars for a state that is on pace to default on its $78 billion in debts.

Now I do way too much actually difficult work in school, and to see my fellow Californians fuck up something so easy is absolutely mind-boggling. Tom Ammiano managed, somehow, to get the proposition on the ballot, I walked my sorry ass to the post office to send in my absentee, and it loses by 3.5 points? (I want to add proudly that 63.6% of San Francisco voted yes.) Only ten  million voters? I know there are at least 10 million stoners in California, which means they either forgot to vote or were too lazy to get their asses off the couch... either way, we're fucked.

As for the rest of the country, you're not even gonna allow it for medical use? Let's play a little identification game: 

This is a Drug

This is NOT a drug... in fact, it's a Plant

This is a Drug User

This is NOT a Drug User... in fact, it's a Cancer Patient

It doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist, or even a NORML member to tell you that smoking weed isn't really bad for you. You don't even need to ask the American Medical Association... they'll tell you. I certainly don't need to list all 200 medical uses for marijuana....

The only rational conclusion that I've been able to come to is that this country is fucking ridiculous. Goodnight.

You Don't Have to be Stoned, but It Helps

Alright close your eyes and come with me on a journey for a second... although I guess you can keep them open to keep reading (but only to keep reading).

It's eight o' clock Sunday night. All day you have been thinking about how much work you have to do, but you keep getting high and forgetting to do it. You finally sit down at your desk to start working when your friend walks in with a little bag of green and the bong in his hands. You half-heartedly try to convince him you're doing work, but he knows you better,  sits on your couch and starts firing up. You humbly take the seat next to him, hit it, and exhale a big sigh of relief.... ah, no more homework. The two of you sit on the couch in one of those "its-not-awkward-cause-we're-high" moments, and eventually decide you want to watch a "stoner" movie. What do you watch? (You can open your eyes now...)

Now this is a real toughie, folks. We've got Cheech and Chong, How High, Half Baked, Grandma's Boy... arguably even Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and with such an array of viewing options, stoner movies truly have a lot to offer. In the end though, it depends on your mood, so being the good guy that I am, I've given reviews for my top five.

1. How High - Really isn't much doubt in my mind about this one. Method Man and Redman do their thing: crack jokes, steal douchebag crew captain's girlfriend, film their own voyeur porno, and smoke a lot of trees. This movie in particular is one you simply must be high for, and if you don't smoke... why are you on this blog?

 

2. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle - I may be a product of my generation, but something about two stoners whose only goal is fast food just really hits home. I don't know how these guys could have done it without weed, and what gets me every time is that this movie is truly a testament to the munchies. And if it couldn't get any better, Doogie Howser even shows up, steals a car, and motor boats some (what appear to be) hookers.

3. Cheech & Chong's Up in Smoke - Now this one caused me a bit of an inner struggle, because while I personally care very little for the Cheech & Chong films (as I said, I'm a product of my generation), I feel obligated to acknowledge Up in Smoke in particular for revolutionizing  the stoner-comedy genre. Made in the late 70s... ah fuck, what do I know, I've never even seen the whole thing... at least I haven't been sober enough to remember it.

4. Super High Me - If you're looking for something with a little more educational value (again, why are you on my blog?), Super High Me takes you through the day in the life of a stoner... just in case you weren't already living one. After this movie it's official: smoke weed all day, every day, and you'll still do better on the SATs, have ESP, and more sperm than that sober motherfucker sitting next to you.

5. ... I'm not gonna lie, I got bored of this one. I'm gonna go hit the bong; just pick one of those four, smoke a blunt, and you're gonna like the way you feel. I guarantee it. (I may not be the men's warehouse, but hey, we all know you're not perfect.)

Introducing: The Bongosphere

Welcome to the Bongosphere.

Many of you have probably heard of the "Blogosphere," and today The Bongosphere is born. Born and raised  in San Francisco during the heart of the medicinal marijuana movement, I bring you everything we love about Mary Jane - pictures, news, songs, art, movies, recipes... -  from the dank to the bammer, indicas to sativas, East coast to West.

I'd like to begin with an ode to my personal favorite strain, God's Gift

Now I can't promise all you mid-Western/north-Easterners you'll ever see something like this, but if you ever get a chance to try some true Bay Area God's Gift, don't pass it up. Subtlety blending Grand Daddy Purp and OG Kush, this hybrid is a little more indica than sativa, and you'll know it when it knocks you on your ass.

Are you guys seeing the same picture I am? -------->
Like come on, seriously... I see green, orange, purple, white... looks like a fucking rainbow over here. I'm going to school in Pennsylvania, and for all you stoners out here who think their shit's the best, let me tell you. We don't have weed like this over here. It does not exist.




Now don't get me wrong, I've smoked some good stuff out here but guess what? It all came from California anyway. The only difference is it's older, dryer, and has lost most of its odor and flavor.

I was home for winter break, and believe it or not, the prices back home have gotten cheaper... and I thought  $35 eighths was a good deal? Try $40 quarters. That alone is reason enough for recreational marijuana use to be legal.... simple economics: supply and demand.